Thing Eleven: I like to have a Martini...

I've been thinking I need to have a signature drink.

Well. No, that's not true. I have a signature drink: it's a Sidecar (1 part Cointreu, 1 part lemon juice, 2 parts Cognac). But honestly, I am poor, and I go to dive bars. Bartenders mostly stare at me in confusion when I ask for one.

And, yes, I drink a lot of wine. And margaritas. And mojitos! But wine can be hit or miss, and you have to drink a LOT to get a buzz, margaritas are awkward if you're dancing, and plenty of places don't stock mint, and so can't make a mojito.

So I think I need something else. Something like...rum and coke. Or gin and tonic. Something easy to order, which everyone understands. But not either of those things, because I don't like coke, and I've been instructed not to drink gin by my neurologist. (Juniper is neurotoxic, so gin is actually the most damaging to your brain of all the liquors!) So I have to find something else. Ideally something clear, because who am I kidding about my ability not to spill it on myself?