Thing Nine: Bird on a Wire

Fair warning: these are not all going to be as deep and laudable as my efforts with Joyce and Homer. I'm coming up with things I meant to do, not things that I feel I ought to do as a citizen of the world. I mean...some of the things are hopefully going to be "citizen of the world" type things. But more of them are going to be silly.

So the thing is, I have bad taste in television. Not all the time! I have watched some really good shows! I watched Veronica Mars from the very beginning, and I caught every episode of Freaks & Geeks, despite Fox  airing them at a different time every week for the whole run. And I've seen Dexter, and Arrested Development, and a few others that critics are always talking about. But I have also seen every episode of Whitney. And I watched All My Children and Degrassi Junior High for YEARS. Years and years. I remember Drake from when he was just Jimmy, not even Wheelchair Jimmy!

But I have a few glaring gaps in my televisual canon. And I think it's probably time to address them. Here's the five most egregious omissions:

• The Wire - Yeah, I know. But I was dirt-poor when it first came on, and I totally didn't have HBO. And I'm weird about things like that - if I miss the beginning, I have to wait until it's over, and then watch the whole thing in a marathon.
• Deadwood - This one's going to have to wait until after I leave my gran's. I doubt she's going to be down with hearing the word "cocksucker" as much as I know Al Swearengen uses it.
• The Tudors - How did I skip this gorgeous costume drama? No cable at school. But its time has come.
• Battlestar Galactica - I know, I know, I'm the worst geek ever. I was busy with Doctor Who at the time! But the Doctor doesn't come back until autumn, and that's plenty of time to get caught up with Starbuck and Apollo.
• The Sopranos - I KNOW. I know I am from New Jersey. I know that I know dudes just like Tony Soprano. I just...didn't ever make it happen.

That's literally hundreds of hours of television. And that doesn't include the stuff on my regular roster that I'm going to be trying to keep up - stuff like the Doctor, and Shameless, and, yes, even the crap. (You guys, Criminal Minds is so good. By which I mean, the dudes are SO HOT.)